Shakespearean Insults - A Slammin' Event!

Introduction ----

Ever find yourself tempted to say !@?#!* and damn too often?

The Shakespearean equivalents are much more fun and don't make parents with children glare at you in restaurants. You could say fie, or you could swear by God's teeth or wounds.

Instructions ----

Combineth one word or phrase from each of the columns below, and addeth "thou" to the beginning.

Make certain you knowest the meaning of thy strong words. When you are not certain of the meaning of the words you've chosen, look them up at Dictionary.com or Mirriam-Webster.com. You should post definitions for terms you find on the list.

If all goes well enough, thou shalt have the perfect insult to fling at the wretched fools you sit with.

Let thyself go. Use the terms from the list below: two adjectives and a noun minimum per curse please.


Mix and match to find that perfect barb from the Bard!

Memorize your choice.

You may post ideas for insults here for the fun, and practice, of it.
In the Taming of the Shrew (4.1.144) Shakespeare wrote: "You whoreson beetle-headed, flapear'd knave!"

Can you do better?

Here's what you have to do:

1. Combineth words or phrases from each of the columns below.
2. Add "Thou" to the beginning.
3. Memorize your final insult.
4. Create some kind of pictorial representation for your insult: a drawing, sketch, collage, etc.
   
5. Bring your insult, drawing, and self to class to share them rudely.
   

Column A ----------------- Column B ----------------- Column C
artless ----------------- beef-witted ----------------- baggage
bat-fowling -------------- beetle-headed ----------------- barnacle
bawdy ----------------- bum-bailey ----------------- bladder
brazen ----------------- bunch-backed ----------------- boar-pig
beslubbering ----------------- clapper-clawed ----------------- bugbear
bootless ----------------- clay-brained ----------------- clack-dish
boil-brained ----------------- common-kissing ----------------- coxcomb
churlish ----------------- crook-pated ----------------- codpiece
cockered ----------------- dismal-dreaming ----------------- canker-blossom
craven ----------------- dog-hearted ----------------- crutch
currish ----------------- dread-bolted -----------------clotpole
distempered ----------------- earth-vexing -----------------cutpurse
dankish ----------------- elf-skinned -----------------dogfish
dissembling ----------------- empty-hearted -----------------dewberry
droning ----------------- evil-eyed -----------------egg-shell
errant ----------------- eye-offending -----------------flap-dragon
fitful ----------------- fat-kidneyed -----------------flax-wench
fawning ----------------- fen- sucked -----------------flirt-gill
fobbing ----------------- flap-mouthed -----------------foot-licker
froward ----------------- fly-bitten -----------------gull-catcher
frothy ----------------- folly-fallen -----------------giglet
gleeking ----------------- full-gorged -----------------gudgeon
goatish ----------------- guts-griping -----------------haggard
gorbellied ----------------- half-faced -----------------harpy
greasy ----------------- hasty-witted -----------------horn-beast
grizzled ----------------- heavy-headed -----------------hugger-mugger
haughty ----------------- hedge-born -----------------hedge-pig
hideous ----------------- hell-hated -----------------hempseed
impertinent ----------------- horn-mad -----------------jake-a-nape
infectious ----------------- idle-headed -----------------jolthead
jaded ----------------- ill-breeding -----------------lewdster
jarring ----------------- ill-composed -----------------maggot-pie
knavish ----------------- ill-nurtured -----------------mammet
lewd ----------------- iron-witted -----------------minnow
loggerheaded ----------------- knotty-pated -----------------mumble-news
mangled ----------------- lean-witted -----------------malkin
mewling ----------------- lily-livered -----------------malignancy
pribbling ----------------- mad-bread -----------------mait-worm
puking ----------------- milk- livered -----------------manikin
peevish ----------------- motley-minded -----------------minimus
pernicious ----------------- muddy-mettled -----------------miscreant
prating ----------------- onion-eyed -----------------moldwarp
purpled ----------------- pale-hearted -----------------nut-hook
quailin ----------------- paper-faced -----------------pantaloon
queasy ----------------- pinch-spotted -----------------pigeon-egg
rank ----------------- plume-plucked -----------------pignut
reeky ----------------- pottle-deep -----------------puttock
roynish ----------------- raw-boned -----------------pumpion
roguish ----------------- reeling-ripe -----------------rabbit-sucker
spleeny ----------------- rough-hewn -----------------rampallion
spongy ----------------- rude-growing -----------------remnant
saucy ----------------- rug-headed -----------------rudesby
sottish ----------------- rump-fed -----------------ruffian
tottering ----------------- shag-eared -----------------ratsbane
unmuzzled ----------------- shard-borne -----------------scut
vacant ----------------- sheep-biting -----------------skainsmate
venomed ----------------- shrill-gorged -----------------strumpet
villainous ----------------- sour-faced -----------------scantling
warped ----------------- spur-galled -----------------scullion
weedy ----------------- tardy-gaited -----------------snipe
waggish ----------------- tickle-brained -----------------varlet
wanton ----------------- toad-spotted -----------------vassal
wenching ----------------- urchin-snouted -----------------waterfly
whoreson ----------------- weak-hinged -----------------whispter
yeasty ----------------- weather-bitten -----------------whey-face
gnarling ----------------- white-livered -----------------wagtail
clouted ----------------- dizzy-eyed ----------------- younker

I made one up for the fun of it: (A) loggerheaded (B) ill-breeding (C) maggot-pie.

In the hallway in shakespearean times, you might have heard, "Thou art a loggerheaded ill-breeding maggot-pie."

Now it's your turn.

--------Credit Where Credit Is Due--------
This activity has been taken from Acting Through Experience - Shakespeare (pp 9-10). Special thanks to Daniel Slowick for his contribution to my efforts to create a student friendly experience of the old Bard.